Hey baby, what’s your sign? In my single days I’d banter back with “slippery when wet.” Astrology and horoscopes are hit or miss entertainment, forecasting our future through the stars. What could go wrong with that? The Sisters looked deep inside their crystal ball [a Sangria punch bowl] to reveal how your zodiac sign influences your drinking style.
Reputation
Cocktail
Aries
Never satisfied
Doesn’t matter, they won’t like it
Taurus
Salt of the Earth
Tequila and lime
Gemini
Ambiguous
Beergarita
Cancer
Moody Judy
Jagerbomb
Leo
The Boss
Scotch and a Cuban (with or without a cigar)
Virgo
Brand loyalty
Bailey’s Irish Cream
Libra
Social drinker
Red Wine, White Wine, Beer
Scorpio
Like it hot, hot, hot
Fireball Whiskey
Sagittarius
Life of the party
Mai Tai (with a side of lamp shade)
Capricorn
Cool as ice
Dirty Martini
Aquarius
Drink nurser
Perrier water
Pisces
Cry in their drink
Gin and Tears
Aries: Mar 21 ~ Apr 19
Fun Drunk
Off Night
You’re an animal...
Friendly, Loud, Alcohol goes in...fun comes out
Argumentative, Brutally honest, Sloppy drunk
Nothing kills the mood like a head-butt from a horny Ram.
Water Bearers like to nurse a tall glass of ‘Don’t give a fuck.’
Pisces: Feb 19 ~ Mar 20
Great partner in crime, Sensitive, Thoughtful
Mood swings, Easily led, Addictive personality
Dresses like a lady, drinks like a Fish.
Val’s a true Libra. She’s beauty, she’s grace, she’s got a resting bitch face. Lori’s a partial Capricorn. She’s occasionally classy, never trashy, and can get a little nasty. The only thing we can truly predict is… there is wine in your future!
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Dresses like a lady, drinks like a fish. Sounds about right.