10 Reasons Why Gen Z Doesn’t Suck

Today’s young adults get a bad rap, partly because they were nurtured in a self-serving bubble. Not all Gen Z’s live up to this entitled reputation, but we haven’t done them a solid solving their first world problems.

I’m looking at you…

1. Smartphones.  Unlike Eric Clapton, they’re never unplugged. These kids have nothing to fear, but fear it selfie.

2. My boy’s gonna play in the big league. Over-scheduling our ‘prodigies’ burned them out early. Could our competitive nature be the reason they’re reluctant to get off the couch?

3. Moving out.  An alarming number of 18-34 year old’s still live with their parents. You really can’t blame them. Becoming an adult was the dumbest thing I ever did.

4. Rap music.  It’s hard to listen to gangsta rhymes without the desire to punch someone in the throat.

5. Little Miss Unemployed stems from our fixation on post-secondary success. The prospect of getting a job after a grueling 4+ years of beer, sweat, and tears is daunting. A few short years ago, they had to ask permission to use the bathroom.

6. Post-secondary education. If you  want to visualize what a deer looks like in headlights, ask a Grade 12 student what their plans are for next year. With admission standards so freakishly high, and my inability to decipher Grade 8 math, I can safely say my rejection letter is in the mail.

7. Participation awards. Little Abner doesn’t need another fucking ribbon for picking dandelions on the soccer field.

8. Bubble kids. Our elementary school wouldn’t allow netting on the basketball hoops to protect the kids. Talk about nothing but net.

9. Big city driving. Sixteen-year-olds are shying away from the glorious freedom that is a driver’s license. To be fair, it was easier when we learned in a town of one million LESS people.

10. Helicopter parents. Time to land that chopper. Why stand on your own two feet when mommy and daddy can whirlybird you in?

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