Lifestyle

‘Til Death Do Us Part

One day, long long ago, there lived a woman
Who did not whine, nag, or bitch.
But it was a long time ago,
And it was just that one day.
The End

Remember that time a newlywed couple set off on a honeymoon hike, when the bride shoved her husband of eight days face-first off the cliff. Harsh, but maybe he should’ve shut the fuck up. 😉

Disney princesses hoodwinked us into believing marriage was as easy as shagging Prince Charming. But what comes after happily-ever-after?

The Real Housewives of Disney sequel would feature a (dis)enchanted king and queen, lamenting that living the dream feels so far-far away. Tune in to hear Charming jest that 15 years of wedlock feels closer to 20 with the wind chill.

Men have mastered a game they keep on the DL. It’s called ‘Strategic Incompetence’ where common chores are done poorly to deflect the work back to you. His idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Marriage is high stakes poker. A pair lays down diamonds and hearts. You hold ’em, go all in. As time goes by, the short stack doesn’t leave you feeling as flushed. A full house can fold, leading to the flop. Ultimately, clubs and spades are useful in your backyard plot.

If a man stands alone in the forest and there are no women around to hear him speak, is he still wrong?

Men add colour to our world. Occasionally it’s a kaleidoscope of fiery colours, like ‘Off-With-His-Head-Red’, or ‘Stubborn-Bloodstain-Burgundy.’

Despite the fact we’re fundamentally different, with contrasting characteristics and traits, love continues to flourish. They’re the peanut to our butter, the shake to our bake, the gin to our tonic. Long may we run!

Happy Anniversary Val & Ken. Cheers to 23 years!! 🍷❤

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