Wine

I’m Never Drinking Again

I don’t remember much from last night,
but the fact I need sunglasses to open the fridge
this morning tells me it was awesome…

Chances are you’ve woke up with a heavy head, fuzzy tongue, and the scent of Eau de Merlot oozing from your pores. Blame it on the wine flu. I consider myself a hangover connoisseur. Sometimes you just have to say fuck it when the forecast calls for mostly drunk with a chance of regret, and accept that hangovers are the price you pay to play.

Dinner and Drinks

Culprit:  martini, caesar, wine, aperitifs

Buzz word:  sauced, stewed, fried

Going in:  good spirits, content, just what the doctor ordered

Morning after:  dull headache, dry mouth, off kilter

Sister Sin:  I don’t get drunk, I get awesome. Food baby and gastrointestinal distress discourage attempts at romance, and kept us from sharing the same bedroom

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Spouse’s Company Party

Culprit:  wine, champagne

Buzz word:  tipsy, tight, feeling no pain

Going in:  apprehensive, pre-party drinks equals personality, socially lubricated

Morning after:  sheepish, tentative, what did I say?

Sister Sin:  Champagne is just ginger ale that knows somebody. Upon leaving the party, I announced loudly and repeatedly that I couldn’t find my beaver…a full-length mink coat borrowed from my mother-in-law.

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Girl’s Night Out

Culprit:  wine, beer, vodka

Buzz word:  pickled, juiced, lit up

Going in:  warm fuzzies, belly laughs, dancing queens

Morning after:  debriefing required, poor memory, short attention span

Sister Sin:  I’m not as think as you drunk I am. Getting home at midnight isn’t bad…unless you’re coming from a ladies lunch.

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Out-Of-Town Weekends

Culprit:  paralyzers, coconut rum, coolers, jello shots, tequila, baileys, fireball whiskey

Buzz word:  wasted, pissed, loaded

Going in:  pacing, marathon, endurance, protein bars

Morning after:  more of the same, back on the roller coaster, barking with the big dogs

Sister Sin: You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. Throwing up Sambuca is just like pulling licorice through your nose.

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Unexpected Runaway

Culprit:  One too many

Buzz word:  tanked, bombed, blasted

Going in:  zero expectations, oblivious to what’s about to go down, surreal moments

Morning after:  wake up feeling good, false sense of security, greasy cravings, queasy by noon, back to bed by 2:00 pm

Sister Sin:  Kiss my furry pink ass. The ‘Easter Bunny’ wasn’t able to hop out of bed for an early morning egg hunt…or afternoon egg dyeing…or Easter dinner.  Bad Bunny.

image009 The night was a blur

On A Mission

Culprit:  Shots

Buzz word:  drunk as a skunk, polluted, plastered

Going in:  premeditated, bender-bound, overzealous

Morning after:  nausea, diarrhea, dehydrated, shaking like a leaf, mission accomplished

Sister Sin:  Well played tequila. Well played.

image011

Oh No, She Didn’t

Culprit:  Anything and everything

Buzz word:  hammered, fucked-up, shit-faced

Going in:  running on adrenaline, sloppy from the start, OMFG

Morning after:  mortified, dizzy, vomiting, fetal position, dry toast

Sister SinHow long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you’re on. Paid $150 to see a favorite band in concert…only to listen to the whole show from the bathroom stall.

image013Oxygen bar

Sangria Wine Rack

 The morning after...
the night before
I told you so
Feather the nestEat a carb fueled meal
beer loves pizza
Don’t drink on an empty stomach bile is vile
Your favourite colourKeep it light when it comes to the hard stuff Stay away from dark liquors
How we rollOrder top shelf hooch to filter impurities, like an escort you get what you pay for Don’t consume sugary mixes or coolers
Pre-pass outTake B6, Gravol, Milk Thistle Don’t skip the water
RemedyAspirin or Ibuprofen (Advil)Avoid Acetaminophen
Tylenol + Alcohol = Bad Liver
RehydrateDrink mineral water, sports drinks No ‘Hair of the Dog’
now you’re messin’ with a...
If you can stomach itBRAT: bananas, rice, apples, toast
not together but in that order
Don’t answer the call from bacon and eggs, it’s a wrong number
Sweat it out He told me sex and a nap would take the edge offDon’t sit in a sauna
save what saliva you have left

Recommended tunes you should have on you iPod:
Taio Cruz ✤  Hangover
Jimmy Buffett ✸  Margaritaville
Matt Dusk ✭ Two Shots Of Happy, One Shot Of Sad

Check out this week’s Sister Shout Out

Join the discussion

  1. Sandra Fournier

    Too funny ladies…and a bit too relatable!

  2. Jill Odle Gomez

    OMG. Woke up yesterday with a "first Red Rocks concert", too many margaritas and edibles hangover and this blog was perfect! GNO!! Fun night but not so fun next day!!! Thank you Sangria Sisters for making my day after!

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