I Wish I Was As Thin As My Patience

PATIENCE
noun / pa·tience / (pey-shuh ns) / Sangria synonyms: /

1. Patience: What happens when there are too many witnesses.

2. Mercy: The most important ingredient for marriage and children. (see also: Tranquilizers)

3. Tolerance: The reason you dislike people standing in line in front of you. Everyone behind you is cool.

4. Perseverance: Freeing a toy from its packaging without a jackhammer, torch, or chainsaw.

5. Grit: Defined by how we face life’s challenges. I’m chill to my friends, chilling to my family.

6. Calm: Technology troubleshooting for our parents. (see: Who trained you to use a spoon/wipe your ass)

7. Persistence: When your colour wheel won’t stop spinning because you jabbed the key a zillion times.

8. Self-control: Every time you see ‘login/password incorrect’ without smashing the screen.

9. Long-suffering: Did you know we spend roughly six months of our life waiting at traffic lights?

10. Restraint: Drivers who speed up to pass you, and then slow down.

11. Serenity: God give me patience, cause if you give me strength, I may kill them.

12. Endurance: Doing everything possible to induce labour when you’re a week overdue.

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