Beauty

Fashionista

You say bathrobe, I say wrap dress.

I’ve always admired people who cultivate a personal style and stick to it. Diversity is what saves us from becoming stepford wives. My appearance hinges on the time of day. ‘I didn’t expect to get out of the car’ is reserved for drive-thru’s and drop-offs. My daytime uniform consists of yoga pants, oversized sunglasses, and a chai latte. I’m sexy and I know it…but I’m too damn lazy to show it.

Trendy is the last stage before tacky ~ Karl Lagerfeld
My personal style in one word is denim. You hardly ever have to wash it and they still look fresh (vaginas, take note). You can colour and distress the shit out of them, and they’re something I never second-guess. Thanks to my beautiful Mom genes, I’m able to rock a pair of skinny jeans.

I’d rather have flowers in my hair than diamonds around my neck.
If you found your groove early on and flow like the flower child you are, I’m diggin’ your boho vibe. You dig loose, flowy, tie dyed, embroidered cotton. We could stretch, sing, and hug all day. It only gets awkward when you’re showing someone an old photo of yourself, and you happen to be wearing the same shirt.

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Call me old fashioned, but shorts should be longer than your hoo hoo.
Lacey, floral, feminine styles (insert head tilt here), tend to move with a little more grace. Add pearls for an instant lady. There’s no faking this delicacy. I can’t pull off this look ‘cause after a few glasses of red, I’m guaranteed an oopsy daisy doily. Just keepin’ it classy bitches.

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I wish I could illegally download clothes.
If you lust over leather, fringe and the colour black, you’re molded with sharper edges. You’re meant to behave, but there are too many other options. Like a classic car with soft Corinthian seats, you don’t deviate from your comfort zone to look cool.

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I’m sorry for what I wore when I was cold.
I’m gonna pop some tags. Yes, you shop at thrift shops, and no, you’re not poor. You covet anything retro, vintage, repurposed, or knit. It takes patience to weed through discarded treasures, but when you uncover those gems at deeply discounted prices, it’s nothing short of orgasmic.

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Bra off, hair up, sweats on
Clothes aren’t going to change the world, but the women who wear them will. Life is much more interesting with a kaleidoscope of fashionistas. As sisters, one of us has a hard-on for heels, the other fancies flats. One of us is a shopper, the other is a souse. But whatever your look, from boho to label whore, happy never goes out of style.

Sangria Wine Rack

ForewarningFaux Pas
Your style should evolve with your age.Clothes that are 10 yrs. old don’t make you look 10 years younger.
Clothes make a first impression even before you speak.You are a bright, beautiful woman. Fleece doesn’t convey that.
Trust your instincts. Sequins may not work with your lifestyle.
Just because it was on sale, doesn’t make it a good find.Ill-fitting, wrong colour, but 70% off is not always cause to celebrate.
Embrace your shape.Don’t dress your body like The Paper Bag Princess.

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Tunes you should have on your iPod:
David Bowie ✪ Fashion
Madonna ✤ Vogue
Amy Winehouse ✹ F*** Me Pumps

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  1. Bonnie

    Love the wine rack! Some very good advice!

  2. Dawn

    I agree Bonnie!

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