Entertainment

Doggie Style

A dog is truly man’s best friend.
If you don’t believe it, try this experiment.
Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of a car for an hour.
When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see you?

I like my bitches bad to the bone. The crotch sniffing, greet you at the door with tongue kind of dawgs. Loyal sidekicks don’t bark about your back fat, pass judgement on your pooch, or call you Husky.

As kids, we had a puppy named Coco. He snacked on electrical outlets, vinyl records, and Barbie’s plastic pumps. He hoovered crayons and shit rainbows on the floor. This wild and crazy guy proved too much for newbies, so Coco went to (not bought) the farm.

Years later, I was told to expect a dog…the night before he was delivered. I already had a toddler, I wasn’t looking for another ass to clean. Then along came Brogan, my soft-coated Wheaten Terrier. He immediately chewed a designer shoe, but the family felt complete.

image001

I had my husband Scott and my dog neutered in the same week. A 2 for 1 family special. Unlike Scott, Brogan was a chick before he lost his manhood. Not gay, just really effeminate. Totally explained his love of shoes.

After twelve wonderful years, our beloved Brogan went to doggy heaven. That’s it, I thought, I’m done. No more drool, vet bills, or freezing cold strolls. No more unconditional love. 😳

Two years later it was puppy love at first sight when we set eyes on an Australian Labradoodle named Martini. Born into the James Bond litter, he prefers his cats shaken…not stirred.

When Scott passed away, Martini took it the hardest. We had 18 months to prepare, he was blindsided. When I’m away from him, I miss my fur baby more than my flesh baby. Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend never owned a dog!

Sangria Wine Rack

DogsCats
5 minute window of memory16 hour memory span
MastersMinions
Why do dogs lick their balls? Because they can.You scared the hairball outta me
“When’s she coming home?”“You’re late!”
I like big mutts and I cannot lieYou’ve cat to be kitten me right meow
Man’s best friendCrazy cat lady

JOIN THE SISTERHOOD! Subscribe today
Share our shit with your favourite pals 🍷

Join the discussion

  1. Bonnie

    Oh Martini! He really is the best! Love his personality ❤️

  2. Ken MacLean

    Cat Lover but still a good blog.

  3. David Gader

    Made my day! Another gem 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

x