Both Bono and Obama famously declared THE WORLD NEEDS MORE CANADA. We couldn’t agree more. On July 1, we celebrate Canada’s 150th birthday, yet the old broad doesn’t look a day over 100.
We could easily list 150 bitchin’ ways we love our home and native land, but you’ve got corks to pop. So bust open the red and white, and let’s get ready to partaay!
1. Canada has a Liberal attitude towards drugs.
2. If countries had cliques, we wouldn’t hang with the popular kids. Nor the mean girls, bullies, or nerds. But as of next Canada Day, stoners maybe…
3. How did Mayor Rob Ford remain in office when an Eh, Eh meeting was only 12 steps away?
4. Canada’s an easy target for late night comedians, making us the (brent) butt of jokes.
5. If hell freezes over, we’d curl there too.
6. Pulling the goalie is a polite way of saying you’re planning to expand your family.
7. According to Stats Canada, our surface area consists of 33% tundra, 33% impenetrable forests, and 33% rinks.
8. I’m not an easy puck, but I’ve definitely scored on a hockey player.
9. Canadians prefer their Kale with a silent “K”
10. Flatlanders have the (prairie) dogged determination that you can’t drink all day if you don’t start in the morning.
11. Maritimers medicate with Screech, the nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, how the hell did I end up on the bathroom floor medicine.
12. Canada has a low crime rate, despite my bad-ass friends.
13. The French welcome us with a double kiss. The aloof Quebecois separate their cheeks for a pucker.
14. Every time I hear a mean joke about Canada, I get my feelings checked for free.
15. After Trump was elected, Americans anxiously googled Canada, land of the flee… er, free.
Cheers to the Great White North. May the only ice you encounter be chillin’ in your cocktail!!
* The World Needs More Canada® is Indigo’s love-filled ‘birthday card’ to Canada from the great culture makers of our time. A portion of the proceeds goes to the Indigo Love of Reading Program.
JOIN THE SISTERHOOD. Subscribe today!
Be a pal, and share the shit out of us.