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Acronyms For The Over 40 Crowd

1. FFN – Florence Fuckin’ Nightingale
– The name you call yourself when mothering a mate with the man flu.

2. STGF – Set The Girls Free
– Racing home to whip off your bra after a hard day of having breasts.

3. UTI – Unexplained Tequila Injury

4. MATH – Mental Abuse To Humans
– Bobby started his day with 12 fucks. He ended his day with a dozen fucks. How many fucks did Bobby give today?

5. ACNP – Adult Children of Normal Parents
– Not surprising, attendance at the annual meeting is generally very small.

6. FISH – Fuck It, Shit Happens

7. SOB – I don’t just ride the crazy train, I drive the Son Of a Bitch.

8. TMB – Too Many Birthdays
– Forget the candles, just set the cake on fire.

9. TBH – To Be Honest
– I encouraged my kids to make playdates with friends based on which Mom’s would wine with me.

10. TWAT – That Wingnut Acted Terribly
– Be yourself, everyone else is already taken a twat.

11. RAK – Random Acts of Kindness
– I consider it an act of kindness when you see me out in public [without makeup] and you pretend you didn’t.

12. TMI – Too Much Information
– I woke up with frozen pipes this morning. I probably should add more fibre to my diet.

13. DHR – Double Hip Replacement
– Dear hockey goalies: the safe word is hip replacement. Ladies, shut your 5 hole.

14. TTYL – Talk To You Louder
– 10% of hearing loss results from dining out with a table full of women who just received dessert.

15. PMS – Prepare (to) Meet Satan

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  1. Ken

    FU A… finally, useful acronyms

  2. Jodi

    Good one girls. Love it

  3. Moi

    Made me laugh!!

  4. Cathy

    Hilarious! Someone has the creative gene!

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