1. Yoga relieves the stress caused by racing to get to class on time.
2. It helps you stay flexible enough to kick your own ass when necessary.
3. The bliss of an earth shattering yogasm will make you zen as fuck.
4. Yoga empowers you to become a warrior, instead of a worrier.
5. Sick and tired of putting up with crap? Yoga stimulates the digestive tract and helps you lose your shit (in a good way).
6. Saying you’re not flexible enough for yoga is like saying you’re too dirty to shower.
7. Do you love your six-pack so much you protect it in a layer of fat? Yoga improves your posture, which instantly slims your appearance.
8. Diamonds aren’t a girl’s best friends anymore. Yoga pants are.
9. Yoga promotes inner peace, which becomes relevant when staring down your inner thighs.
10. It makes you bendy enough to shave your legs without injury.
11. Your chakra’s connected to your zen bone…your zen bone’s connected to your karma bone…your karma bone’s connected to your soul bone. And that’s what it’s Om about.
12. Heels over head (plow pose) helps relieve menopause symptoms, providing you don’t asphyxiate on your own breasts.
13. I’m too tired for Savasana, said no one ever.
14. I may not be overly religious, but I worship at the church of yoga.
15. Yoga class? I thought you said, “pour a glass!”
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