Health

10 Signs You May Be Over 50 – Men vs. Women

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Sandbags, Coat hooks, Beagle ears

What can we say, gravity’s a b-i-t-c-h. If you’re confident you’d clean up/wipe the floor in a saggy boob competition, you may be a woman over 50.

 

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Chesticles, Moobs, Mitties [man titties]

If you take inventory of your body in a full-length mirror and think “Dear God…I’m turning into my Mother,” you may be a man over 50.

 

 

 

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I’d love to stay and chat, but I really over

If you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache, and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore, you may be a woman over 50.

 

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Male pattern blindness

If you’re too sexy for your hair [so it relocated to your nostrils and ears], you may be a man over 50.

 

 

 

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Brows on fleek…or playing hide and seek?

Contrary to men’s bushy brows, ours become so sparse we’re driven to draw them on. If you enjoy raising a few eyebrows, you may be a woman over 50.

 

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Eyebrows speak louder than words

“I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.” If your untamed tufts remind you of baby caterpillars, you may be a man over 50.

 

 

 

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No, I said I’ve got acute angina

If you’ve ever ridden a camel [toe] across the Mojave Desert in search of a [lube in a tube] oasis, you may be a woman over 50.

 

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I’m not crazy but my testicles are nuts
The male sex drive through the ages:
Ages 16-32 image024 Tri-weekly
Ages 33-52 image024 Try weekly
Age 52 and up image024 Try weakly

 

 

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Sorry, I ovary-acted

If my greatest fear is that menopause doesn’t exist and this is the REAL me, I am a spirited woman over 50.

 

image005 Manopause

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Join the discussion

  1. ken maclean

    After reading this I am going to cover the skylight in the upstairs bathroom shaving ten years off in the mirror, pay the extra $10 to have my eyebrows groomed and try, try, try again.

    Humbly yours,

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